Spilled Beans

Everett D. Stetson III

Everett D. Stetson III, 60, of Portland, Maine died on August 30, 2044 after slipping and falling into a coffee grinder at the Starbucks Coffee processing plant during a guided tour that went completely wrong. Oils from the coffee beans dripped out of the bean roaster and created a slippery surface causing him to fall.

He was born August 30, 1984 in Portland, Maine to Everett and Cinthia Stetson.  Everett worked incredibly hard in order to attain his GED in 2003.   After taking two years off from his education , He went on to Middle Tennessee State University to attain his Bachelor’s Degree in Digital Media Communication.  He lived life to the fullest and never had a chance to marry.

Everett joined the Navy and attained the rank of Commander.   He  also attained multiple Navy Cross’s and was awarded the Navy Expert Rifleman Medal while in basic training.  He was awarded 3 multiple Navy Cross’s after his ship struck a coral reef off the coast of Australia due to an electrical malfunction in the ships radar system.  Stetson had to keep his crewmates safe during a tropical storm while the surviving members were adrift in the ships life raft.

Stetson retired to Portland, Maine so  he could start up his own sport fishing business.  He was also an avid hunter, fisher and outdoorsman.  He has many Boone and Crockett class awards in the record books.  Everett always had a smile on his face while he was on the water, in the woods or just being outdoors in general.

Everett is survived by his father and mother Everett and Cinthia Stetson of St. Cloud, Fla; brother Jacob Stetson of Tokyo, Japan; and sister Angelica Stetson of Tullahoma, Tenn.

Services will be held along the lake front at Crystal Lake in Gray, Maine.  Stetson’s ashes will be spread in the water near the shore.

In lieu of flowers the Stetson family requests that you make a small donation to the “Make Starbucks Safer fund.”